Personality Traits...

There are very few things that I believe that I'm adept at, but judging people and empathy are real skills. As a Dyspraxic it is possibly impossible not to be empathetic. At the very least it is highly implausible.

Why? That is easy we all know what it feels like to be quirky, what it feels like to be told you will never ride a bike, and what it feels like to be not just picked last but left-back in the changing rooms. But to be frank, I'm glad because these things develop a toughness, an empathetic side, and a no-nonsense side.

Dyspraxia can be a lonely place where no one gets you or can be bothered to get you. Remain patient, stoic, and pragmatic. Try not to get swept up in unnecessary dramas or seek out lofty ambitions. Not spilling tea or abusing china plates daily is a good start. Focus on these small wins and just do you don't compete with the good-looking idiot who gets all the girls. Don't compete with the highly intelligent and maddening swat who can write essays without even the hint of spell-check.

Two very paradoxical criticisms disheartened me right into the mid to late twenties age range. Firstly, there seems to be this sense that I'm a sweet person. Sweet does nothing as a personality trait. No prizes are one for being sweet no jobs interviews are got and no girlfriends made. Sweet is code for dim but nice. Have you ever just wanted to be nice? No, come on, have you?

This was maybe insecurity about the Dyspraxic issue but it also felt like it was embedded in the sense that people were patronising this hopeless food on the face, academic failure. Please don't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever patronise anyone let alone a Dyspraxic. We already feel useless in certain arenas anyway without you chipping in. Leave us alone.

I often got told that people were scared of me and I have never quite worked this all out. Possibly it has something to do with my directness, maybe it has everything to do with how I move or the way food covers my face nearly always. Could it just be my horrible voice or how I appear to move? Certainly, that people believe me to be scary is weird to me and is something that I can never accept. It is not really offensive anymore, it is more of a case of here we bloody go again.

Just try to carry on with whatever it is you are doing and keep on fighting. Fight for the right to a university place, fight for the right to be respected, fight for the right to be a proud Dyspraxic, and try not to let the Nonners win.

There are other things you can do like helping other people. Go over and chat with the unpopular person, because it could make their life a whole lot better. Help a younger Dyspraxic who is struggling with the everyday difficulties that are never terminal but are always there niggling at confidence and nagging at fragile egos.

I've never met an unempathetic Dyspraxic and I've never met one who is entirely self-confident. The trouble is that Dyspraxia plays on insecurity and that insecurity will be will you forever. On a positive note, it does mean that the whole notion of arrogance gets sucked down by a severe Platte Saline undercurrent. We never have the privilege of being an arrogant d***head. Instead, we get empathy and resilience.

So going back to a few badly written paragraphs ago on the topics of sweetness and being scary and why it all hurts. The reason I don't accept either term is that that is not me. Although I like to think that I am a good person there is still a feisty side, a side that is stubborn and not willing to compromise.

On the other side of the cliché, I'm certainly not scary. Violence, intimidation, or coercive behavior should have, absolutely, no place in the world. I have never wanted to hurt anyone and generally see violence as the most pointless weapon of all. Violence doesn't solve anything but causes carnage, and uncertainty and fosters decades of black and white debates.

Rather than worrying about any of this stuff just book yourself a holiday to Alderney and enjoy the lack of judgment. You deserve a break from over-analyzing Dyspraxia. Because one thing that is for sure is that if you are a Dyspraxic you are a good, resilient and empathetic person...