BetterInWriting Introduction

Welcome to a new era of Dyspraxia writing. This site is not just about us shambolic Dyspraxics but also about the Nonners (Non-Dyspraxics) and bridging the gap between two complicated worlds. Here is the introduction to my Dyspraxic book:

DYSPRAXIA: A BELT MIGHT HELP...

Probably the biggest emotion people, with a disability experience, is frustration. Yes, people like to put a positive spin on any given issue but this is just an act. A defence mechanism, a mask in which to hide very firmly behind. But sometimes a hiding place can become a comfort zone and that can never be a good thing. Dyspraxia affects everyday life but if I had to really dig down on put the top three issues it presents :

1. The Getting Dressed Issue/ Staying dressed

2. The lack of sporting prowess

3. The food on face problem

Friends are important during those all-important first ten years, it is where your place in the pecking order is settled, where it is decided whether you will be a loner or have friends, and where it is decided what role you will play in those relationships. In the early years it is like a playing pissing contest, if you are Dyspraxic do not enter this contest.

Just trust me, on this, pissing contests are not for us. Sorry if this hurts you but you will never be a sporting great on the sporting field, you will undoubtedly be the last to be picked. Get on with it, people die of starvation every day around the world, children with no hope of an education. So enough with the self-pity, is time to get on with it and relish the cards that you have been dealt.

Friends are there as an extension of yourself in childhood. There to laugh, whine and occasionally argue with. As a Dyspraxic you will attract sporty friends because they won’t see you as a threat. The ones in the class who learn to flirt first, who always look smart and appear effortlessly confident.

That confidence will rub off onto you and will only broaden your capabilities. Tried and tested methods lead to solutions and having Dyspraxia is all about solutions- quick solutions. Friends and the type of friends you choose can play a large part in this.

When it is raining and a group of vaguely hyper children hit the playground to play footy, there is nothing more humiliating than being picked last. Don’t look at the empty space you have just left just look forward, run and try not to fall over.

Falling over is never good, it makes you look sloppy and can lead to blushing faces. It is a balancing act because tying shoelaces is a difficult and stressful task that in itself is very embarrassing. Almost more embarrassing is the lunch that clings to your face with such over ease. Your hair is probably out of place by 8.02 am as a teacher suggests a hairbrush as the ultimate solution. Really come on?

I have had several early morning arguments with socks, I mean FULL blown arguments. Socks make no sense they are bizarre clothing pieces, how do you get the heals on the heals? For a ‘normal’ person reading this you may be lost for words in this paragraph, just consider yourself very fortunate not to have an argument with socks. Socks are not good, they are an obstacle constantly battling for supremacy. Socks in other-words suck. There is nothing to be done because socks have to be worn and I think they have a certain arrogance about them.

The belt is meant to be a friend of a Dyspraxic to save you and protect you from your trousers falling down in the middle of a lunch hall. Dyspraxics struggle to feel their clothes from falling off which is a right pain. Belts are not the answer, I suggest going to school naked: it is the only thing for it that is the only way around this awful situation.

Belts make little coherent sense, firstly there are those dire places you have to put the belt through and then there are those silly buckle things. What was the designer playing at? A massive practical joke to play on the Dyspraxic world, it is such a fast that should have never be signed off. Then to add insult to insult is the fact they don’t keep your trousers up anyway. Time to start a campaign to get rid of belts but we can also take on the flies that hold it all together…We have got the time.

One positive amongst all the negatives is that Dyspraxics tend to have sympathy for others and innate empathy for others. This is simply because they know what all the crap stuff feels like, the stuff that makes life just that bit more of a challenge. Challenges can be good they can lead to greatness they can make you tougher but first and foremost they will make you more empathetic.

Empathy becomes more key as life goes on but can be overlooked during the primary school years. The second quality it gives is a toughness that is hard to get if you have it easy. People talk about perfect relationships, perfect artists, perfect everything as if it is given, a right.

No this all takes work, you have to earn your perfect girlfriend, your perfect job, your comfortable lifestyle. Who wants a perfect life in any way that is dull? Perfection is hugely over-represented, and I bet perfection drives around in one of the cars the size of an island that makes you feel queasy. Get perfection as far away from your mind as you can because the chances are it will disappoint you before you know it.

So that is that the introduction is done and dusted, now you have to decide whether this is eloquent nonsense or whether the following chapters will be useful. If you are not a Dyspraxic, a handy guide for those without the ‘condition’ is written in Chapter Two. But for now, I am off to put yet more egg on my face…